i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
