i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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