so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
