I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
