..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
