please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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