two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
