Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
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Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
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You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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