Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
