check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
