What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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