I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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