It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It's just like the Real World with babies
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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