pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
