Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
