do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
