You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
