it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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