I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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