Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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