He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
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You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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