After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
