My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
