Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
