hotel room ftw
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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