WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
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