Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dicks are not precious.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
