I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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