I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
