Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
