You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
