All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
