I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
