Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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