What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
