Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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