I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
nutella sex= disaster
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
