How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
