If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I need water and some morals
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
