In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
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