she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just want to make out with him forever
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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