Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The beer is more important than you right now.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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