i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize