I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
