I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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