Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
