Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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