She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
