I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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