I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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