we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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