They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize