I think i sorta joined a cult last night
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
