That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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