Nicole vs. Life
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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