Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
