Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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