you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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