I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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