Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
