You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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