none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
