Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
