Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
