i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
