I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
