Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
