I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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