All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
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I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
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she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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