I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
