That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
