Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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